


andrew siwicki

by soukeye



Category: Andrew Siwicki - Fandom, Shane Dawson - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, Youtubers, garrett watts - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 18:30:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15869322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soukeye/pseuds/soukeye
Summary: a lil oneshot i made a few nights ago about two tall guys.





	andrew siwicki

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this is my first time posting on ao3 i hope i'm doing this right. but since there's barely any works for this pairing, i wanted to add something small to the list. hope you guys like it bc i mushed all of this glory in one night. love writing about these two.

****

**andrew siwicki**

 

garrett watts had never experienced a love so passionate about anyone. sure, he dated other guys in the past but none has come to terms when it comes to the boy he saw practically everyday. this boy melts his heart, with his personality and physical appearance and his laugh. _oh god,_ his laugh made his days. it was nice to know that he laughed at really everything garrett says, and that made garrett adore him even more. sweet serendipity carried him like a stream, the boy being a beacon in the past years of getting to know him. 

when they first met, they hit it off so well. garrett memorized traces of his face, of course not creepily. ginger eyebrows, ginger hair, and a smile so dashing you couldn't resist to look away. they talked all night that evening, sharing connections on how they encountered with shane and sharing ideas and listening to each other's music. sweet sweet music, garrett giving him a playlist of best 80-90s r&b songs. the other boy noted he loved "that one aaliyah song." directly quoted, with a nod and soft smile, garrett adding 'at your best (you are love)' to a separate playlist to remember that the ginger boy loved it as much as he did. 

their conversations started slow, then gradually turned into in-depth hours of rambling and listening to one another's stories. garrett loved hearing his voice through the other line, and it sounded more gorgeous in real life. when recording for shane's future videos, garrett was always in most of them and perhaps it made the ginger boy excited. he loved garrett's company, as much as the next guy. 

he felt so safe. previously, it was major discomfort when being around new people and having his own friends bringing friends of their own, talking to each other and that concept itself inhabited the ginger boy's mind constantly when that happens. second thoughts nagged in his brain, wondering if he should speak or say nothing at all. it was all or nothing, and he kept that feeling of loneliness to himself. he was so scared of making new friends internally, but acted as if nothing bothered him. displaying a persona that viewers and friends knew, until he met garrett. that feeling of tied up pressure was still there, though now it was way less. it left the weight in his chest he had been carrying so long, barely noticing it was gone at the end of everyday. 

garrett is too kind for his own being. that sometimes lead to consequences, as shown in one of shane's videos where he visited the "haunted" building with bunny. jokingly, garrett used an app of scary noises in hopes of pulling off a harmless prank. resulting in bunny's breakdown, garrett was so scared. scared of admitting that he made bunny frightened to death and not knowing how that would be the reaction and scared that bunny would hate him in those bad terms. the aftermath wasn't as bad as he thought, but still left an ashamed mark. garrett made sure to never pull a prank like that again.

the two of them continued sharing stories and music. garrett often listened to the ginger boy's playlists, especially during situations leaving him thinking. he had a huge range of genre interests, to commercial pop to alternative to r&b. the taller guy with glasses thought it was nice he added aaliyah to his playlist.

..you are love..

he had no idea how to cope with his development of emotions. starting off with compliments, garrett felt like sending him too much would give him the gist of knowing. the megan batoon video he instantly regretted later on, shane taking a hint on his crush. "a younger brother." garrett knew that was such a lie, shane probably did too. he just wanted to let himself believe that, if he said it enough times. thank goodness, garrett realized, after megan's appearance meeting the ginger boy he stopped going through her instagram. secretly, garrett hated when he would talk about her. it wasn't her fault. even with ryland's sister morgan, the blonde boy saw the comments on random pairings between her and the ginger boy or even himself with morgan. i mean, morgan is pretty and funny, but garrett never liked her like that. he hopes the other guy doesn't. garrett kept these love feelings to his personal mind, not even telling shane. garrett prays that the ginger boy wouldn't know about his passionate love. he didn't want him to know. no matter how much he wanted him. 

..let me know..

garrett watts fucking loved him. so much it hurt when he was not around. he wished and wished that maybe he'd see the other side. or garrett would just pray that these feelings would go away. but it haven't gone. not never. so he cried. 

he cried and cried and cried until he fell asleep. the next morning, he partly forgot about why he cried. mustering a major headache, garrett had to tell him. planning for a good few hours on what he would do and say, it was a matter of time to go outside to record another shane video. wearing regular outerwear, he walked up shane's driveway and prepared before on recollecting huge breaths. by the time he got to the front step, he was so sweaty and his hands were so clammy. barely having to ring the doorbell, shane opened the door and garrett saw the cameraman behind him. forcing a giant smile and gesturing himself inside, he brought a bag with him, popping benjamin out to muster a giggle from the ginger boy. garrett struggled to not compliment him, being so lovely he wished he could tell him now. 

ryland and morgan were already at the house, sitting on the couch watching youtube on tv. the time was set to evening, shane sitting down and searching up a location of a specific place on his computer and the ginger boy sitting on the nearest side of the couch. the blonde boy gingerly sat next to him with a hefty sigh, the ginger adjusting his camera but turned to look at him with such a gentle look. garrett practically blushed, needing to contain himself. shane found another haunted location to film for the night, morgan and ryland being the most excited. garrett was the only person to know the ginger's secret that he was terrified about haunted places, nonetheless experiencing it. he looked back at the boy sitting next to him with concern, seeming that he was peering back. "hey," garrett whispered lowly so that only both of them could hear. it was their conversation only and he wanted it to remain that way. 

"hi," the other smiled shyly. setting the camera back up with the lens in focus, he furrowed his eyebrows before glancing again at the taller male. "i'm here, y'know? if you're scared, i'll slay those demons so they won't get you." garrett remarked, imitating a sword-fight scene which made the other boy smile so widely. "thanks, man."

it wasn't long before garrett told him. they arrived at the hotel check in nearly at midnight, all of the squad being recklessly exhausted. shane purchased three rooms right next to one another, one being his and ryland's. garrett dreaded for the ginger to sleep in a room with morgan, no offense, and it was a miracle for the ginger to decide to sleep in with garrett. the room wasn't too small, both of them adapting to the new environment real quick. they were two beds, reasonable enough. 

finding a right moment to butt his confession in to the conversation they are having currently, garrett fidgeted his hands as both were on the hotel couch watching random television. a black and white old film was on, garrett staring absentmindedly at for a while. when having brief pauses in discussion, he couldn't bring it up to say it. this shouldn't have been so damn hard for garrett but it did. and all at once, out of a blur and rehearsed through memory dozens of times and allowing train of process to spill for a few years, he courageously did.

"have i ever told you that i loved you?" 

the blonde male with glasses asked with such a panic but monotonous tone to better stimulate what was going on through his mind. a silence gaped through the room and it made garrett freeze in his position. ten seconds in. "yeah, plenty of times. but i love you too." 

garrett bit on his bottom lip because that was not what he meant. he knew the ginger loved him platonically, but sure as hell afraid he won't love him romantically. he tried one more time; this time directing it specifically. "but i mean, i love you love you." 

at this moment, garrett knew that he knew. it was a sudden change that gave a smack to both of their faces, because one confessed their feelings to the other whilst the other had no idea his best friend was actually in love with him. garrett was so madly scared than he would ever be at a haunted area. 'i shouldn't have said that. i shouldn't have said that.' he would love to have a time machine right about now. 

both knew each other for a few now, let's say two or three? the ginger stared at garrett, the boy he could talk about anything to. the blonde was scared as much as he was, glaring at the carpet floor. he told everything about himself, didn't he? spending time with garrett watts made him happy, didn't it? all the coming to each other's houses, encounters, song playlists..was it all a friendly gesture? was it something more? this feeling he rarely ever had except when he's with garrett, what the hell does that indicate? 

love? in love with garrett watts? that sentence sounds so scary. he didn't know that. did he? how can he be so sure? the ginger furrowed his eyebrows, tapping garrett's arm lightly. their eye contact became extravagant, _he looked so nice._ his scruffy facial hair, which is not too much, looked attractive in his eyes. it felt so weird, is that how it goes? 

"how do you know that you love me?" the ginger spoke so quietly, it sent shivers down garrett's arms. his heartbeat accelerated, clearing his throat as he played with his hands once again. "um..well i.." he paused, looking at the ginger to see he was listening intently. as always. flustered, he coughed and tried to elaborate. "it's just that..i've known you for years. you have been with me on my adventures, and shane's and i know it seems weird all of a sudden because i'm gay but i've been developing this deep love since the first time we met. i can't do this anymore," garrett teared up slightly but chuckled. "i don't know why i'm crying because it's just love. i didn't want to be this emotionally attached to you but i am, i'm so sorry." 

garrett hated love. he hated love with a strong passion. he's been scared of having close people in his life and disappearing. sick of having bad friends that turn up against you in the past. he knows the ginger boy would never do that, and that's one of the reasons he loved him. he was so close to him and it felt great to pretend to live in an alternative universe that somehow he'd love him too. 

"garrett.." his voice was so rich in love and trust, he needed that. rubbing his eyes in frustration, garrett hesitantly looked at the ginger boy. he was sitting closer to him than they were half an hour ago. the ginger boy sighed ever so quietly, approaching a step as he rubbed garrett's arm. his touch was so sacred to garrett, holding the ginger's other hand as he placed his head on his shoulder. the ginger boy, in conclusion, felt a heavy duty guilt in his chest.  
he never came to terms to how much he loved garrett. 

he loves garrett. the ginger boy cried and cried and cried, because all of this was happening so fast in a span of minutes and realizing this sexual orientation change was so scary. bi? how long had he been bi? can one person make you change your orientation? 

the ginger boy's hands were placed on garrett's cheeks, revealing both of their faces to each other were tear stains. both sniffled at the same time and they laughed. they loved each other and whose to know. garrett fixed his glasses and held the ginger's hands so dearly to his heart. "i love you." 

three words. the ginger boy smiled so brightly, this being new to him and loving every aspect of it. "i love you too." and he meant it. those words were frightening coming out of his mouth to a man, but it was okay. garrett's here. that's all that matters.

garrett kissed the boy's lips so gently, and it felt _so fucking good._ it was scary, to the ginger most definitely, but it was good. their love was good. everything was good. 

..at your best..

garrett loved him.  
andrew siwicki.


End file.
